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Adjusting Several Sliders On Recording Studio’s Mixing Console Pays Off Big Time
Date:  Thursday, September 11, 2014
Title:  Adjusting Several Sliders On Recording Studio’s Mixing Console Pays Off Big Time
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News:...
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Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder
Date:  Thursday, September 11, 2014
Title:  Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Citing the central role the process plays in cognitive development, a study released Thursday by the American Psychological Association...
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Owners Box: Don’t Drop All Domestic Abusers From Your Roster Just Because Of Ray Rice Suspension
Date:  Thursday, September 11, 2014
Title:  Owners Box: Don’t Drop All Domestic Abusers From Your Roster Just Because Of Ray Rice Suspension
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA OSN's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, says owners should keep the domestic abusers on their team since the Ray Rice suspension is a one-time...
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Owners Box: Screws, Mangled Joints That Make Up Rob Gronkowski Poised For Huge Fantasy Year
Date:  Thursday, September 11, 2014
Title:  Owners Box: Screws, Mangled Joints That Make Up Rob Gronkowski Poised For Huge Fantasy Year
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Onion Sports Network's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, says owners should take a risk on the bolted-together collection of screws and...
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Earth Down To Last Cubic Meter Of Resources
Date:  Tuesday, September 02, 2014
Title:  Earth Down To Last Cubic Meter Of Resources
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA An unpopular police officer thinks about committing a racially motivated offense for a little support...
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Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend
Date:  Tuesday, September 02, 2014
Title:  Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The sandwich chain says it is 'deeply sorry' if customers mistakenly believed that eating an entire f...
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GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men
Date:  Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Title:  GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Republican Party may have an insurmountable lead among young voters who dress and act like they'r...
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GM Recalls 600,000 Vehicles For Faulty Car-Detonators
Date:  Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Title:  GM Recalls 600,000 Vehicles For Faulty Car-Detonators
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety
Date:  Friday, August 22, 2014
Title:  U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Hoping to reinforce their fire safety message, the U.S. Forest Service debuted a brand new ad campaig...
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Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time
Date:  Friday, August 22, 2014
Title:  Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA In a move designed to help the metropolitan area attract more tourists, Salt Lake City officials unve...
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Study: Nations Third-Graders Now Eating At A Ninth-Grade Level
Date:  Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Title:  Study: Nations Third-Graders Now Eating At A Ninth-Grade Level
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA A local man feels even lazier when he thinks about how much ISIS has accomplished this year, a police...
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Tough Season: Cheeseburger In A Coconut (Brought to you by Lenovo)
Date:  Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Title:  Tough Season: Cheeseburger In A Coconut (Brought to you by Lenovo)
Description:  NFAA Defending Champion Brad Meredith Blevins (@BradMBlevins) worked hard this offseason in preparation for the upcoming fantasy football season by making hi...
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Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
Date:  Monday, August 18, 2014
Title:  Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Technology expert Chris Borden explains that it would be fine to have sexual intercourse with a robot...
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New Nike Running App Tells You What You’re Really Running From
Date:  Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Title:  New Nike Running App Tells You What You’re Really Running From
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The new app pinpoints the unique existential angst at the core of each runner's workout routine. Then...
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The Onion Looks Back At Dirty Dancing
Date:  Monday, August 11, 2014
Title:  The Onion Looks Back At Dirty Dancing
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at 'Dirty Dancing' in this week's Film Standar...
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Security Experts Advise Americans To Not Click Anything
Date:  Monday, August 11, 2014
Title:  Security Experts Advise Americans To Not Click Anything
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA A civilian casualty is flattered to have been mistaken for a Hamas leader, the entirety of a man's pe...
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Super Hurricane Said to Be Even More Powerful Than Bogdan, Worlds Strongest Man
Date:  Thursday, August 07, 2014
Title:  Super Hurricane Said to Be Even More Powerful Than Bogdan, Worlds Strongest Man
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The National Weather Service is warning that Tropical Storm Dennis could rival the strength of Bogdan...
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ClickHole: Youll Never Look At A Twinkie The Same Way Again
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: Youll Never Look At A Twinkie The Same Way Again
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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ClickHole: If You Can’t Tell What’s Going On Here There’s Something Wrong With You
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: If You Can’t Tell What’s Going On Here There’s Something Wrong With You
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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ClickHole: People Drinking Full Glasses Of Water Compilation 2014
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: People Drinking Full Glasses Of Water Compilation 2014
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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ClickHole: WATCH: Man Sees His Family For First Time After 27 Years Holding His Hand Over His Eyes
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: WATCH: Man Sees His Family For First Time After 27 Years Holding His Hand Over His Eyes
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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ClickHole: This Little Boy’s Grandfather Started To Cry ... And His Reaction Will Blow You Away
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: This Little Boy’s Grandfather Started To Cry ... And His Reaction Will Blow You Away
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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ClickHole: Never Pay For Office Supplies Again With This Easy Trick
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: Never Pay For Office Supplies Again With This Easy Trick
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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ClickHole: What’s Happening In Gaza Will Shock You, So Watch This Instead
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: What’s Happening In Gaza Will Shock You, So Watch This Instead
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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ClickHole: Man Locks Himself In Hot Car To Prove That Babies And Dogs Are Cowards
Date:  Monday, August 04, 2014
Title:  ClickHole: Man Locks Himself In Hot Car To Prove That Babies And Dogs Are Cowards
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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