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Owners Box: Bearded Robert Griffin III Spotted Living In Houseboat On Chesapeake Bay
Date:  12/5/2014
Title:  Owners Box: Bearded Robert Griffin III Spotted Living In Houseboat On Chesapeake Bay
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA OSN's fantasy football guru, Perry Bigwell, says dump RG3 from your roster now that he's moved away f.
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Owners Box: Your Friend’s Death Could Leave 6-8 Quality Starters For Pick Up
Date:  12/5/2014
Title:  Owners Box: Your Friend’s Death Could Leave 6-8 Quality Starters For Pick Up
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA OSN's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, reminds you that it is well within your right to ask your league c...
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Owners Box: Marc Trestman Adopts Baby To Save Relationship With Bears
Date:  11/24/2014
Title:  Owners Box: Marc Trestman Adopts Baby To Save Relationship With Bears
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The embattled Bears head coach adopted a one-year-old girl from Vietnam to save his relationship with.
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Owners Box: Andrew Luck Questionable After Finding Out About Death
Date:  11/24/2014
Title:  Owners Box: Andrew Luck Questionable After Finding Out About Death
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA OSN's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, says fantasy owners should sit Andrew Luck in tonight's Monday Nig.
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The Onion Reviews Interstellar
Date:  11/10/2014
Title:  The Onion Reviews Interstellar
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'Interstellar' in this week's Film Standard. Like...
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Please Let Me Out: Ive Told You Everything I Know About Fantasy Football
Date:  11/10/2014
Title:  Please Let Me Out: Ive Told You Everything I Know About Fantasy Football
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA OSN's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, pleads to whoever kidnapped him and locked him inside the small ...
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The Onion Looks Back At Texas Chain Saw Massacre
Date:  11/3/2014
Title:  The Onion Looks Back At Texas Chain Saw Massacre
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre' in this week's F...
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ONN Exclusive: Fire-Ninja Inferno Becomes First Openly Gay Fatal Melee Fighter
Date:  11/3/2014
Title:  ONN Exclusive: Fire-Ninja Inferno Becomes First Openly Gay Fatal Melee Fighter
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA He's crushed skulls in the Under Realm. He's ripped out the spines of his enemies. But ruthless up-an...
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Wes Welker Preparing For Week 8 By Running Head First Into Parked Cars
Date:  10/29/2014
Title:  Wes Welker Preparing For Week 8 By Running Head First Into Parked Cars
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Fantasy owners should start Wes Welker in Week 8's Thursday Night Football matchup against the ...
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Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting ‘I Need More Cash!’ Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise
Date:  10/27/2014
Title:  Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting ‘I Need More Cash!’ Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Calling it the most effective method for reaching one's full earning potential, a report issued Thurs...
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Start Joique Bell, Which Means Now Hell Probably Get 33 Yards And A Goddamn Fumble
Date:  10/27/2014
Title:  Start Joique Bell, Which Means Now Hell Probably Get 33 Yards And A Goddamn Fumble
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA OSN's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, says Lions' running back Joique Bell is Week 7's Must Start, which...
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Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats
Date:  10/27/2014
Title:  Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA In an effort to cater toward customers seeking a slightly less revolting bus-riding experience, trans...
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ONN Exclusive: One-On-One Interview With God
Date:  10/27/2014
Title:  ONN Exclusive: One-On-One Interview With God
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The infallible Creator of the universe sits down for an intimate eye-opening interview. Like The Onio...
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Pop Star Janna Hayspice Confronts Rumors That She Is Really Just A Writhing, Sentient Mass Of Voles
Date:  10/23/2014
Title:  Pop Star Janna Hayspice Confronts Rumors That She Is Really Just A Writhing, Sentient Mass Of Voles
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Drugs. Partying. Unreliable behavior. Can troubled teen star Janna Hayspice save her career? Or is sh.
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Owners Box: Ben Roethlisberger Struggling With New City Ordinance That Allows Food Trucks On Field
Date:  10/16/2014
Title:  Owners Box: Ben Roethlisberger Struggling With New City Ordinance That Allows Food Trucks On Field
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Ben Roethlisberger is struggling to maintain focus after a new city ordinance started allowing food t...
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Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave
Date:  10/16/2014
Title:  Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA As part of a nationwide effort to accommodate women in the workplace, many U.S. companies are now ...
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SPONSORED: New Video Game ‘Horrifying’ For Anyone Who’s Never Experienced Terror Of Real Life
Date:  10/15/2014
Title:  SPONSORED: New Video Game ‘Horrifying’ For Anyone Who’s Never Experienced Terror Of Real Life
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Reviewers agree: The Evil Within reaches an unprecedented level of terror, assuming that the player h...
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Old Guy At Hostel Down To Party
Date:  10/9/2014
Title:  Old Guy At Hostel Down To Party
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Obama is currently being chased around in the background of a Secret Service hearing, U.S. officials ...
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Jaguars Hoping To Impress Florida State Football Scouts Attending Game Sunday
Date:  10/6/2014
Title:  Jaguars Hoping To Impress Florida State Football Scouts Attending Game Sunday
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte.
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The Onion Reviews Gone Girl
Date:  10/3/2014
Title:  The Onion Reviews Gone Girl
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'Gone Girl' in this week's Film Standard. Like Th...
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Climate Self-Conscious About All The Changes That Are Happening To It Right Now
Date:  10/1/2014
Title:  Climate Self-Conscious About All The Changes That Are Happening To It Right Now
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA 7.1 billion people demonstrate in favor of global warming, Obama now sleeps with a Louisville Slugger.
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Congressman Embroiled In Sexting Scandal Explains: I Wanted That Girl To See My Penis
Date:  9/30/2014
Title:  Congressman Embroiled In Sexting Scandal Explains: I Wanted That Girl To See My Penis
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA David Connors sits down for an exclusive interview with Congressman Bart Handford, who is finally ope.
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Owners Box: Didn’t I Predict Jeremy Maclin Would Have A Huge Week? Didn’t I Fucking Say That?
Date:  9/30/2014
Title:  Owners Box: Didn’t I Predict Jeremy Maclin Would Have A Huge Week? Didn’t I Fucking Say That?
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA OSN's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, the soothsayer, the prince of light of fantasy football, fucking t...
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16,000 Stained During Messiest Day In U.S. History
Date:  9/30/2014
Title:  16,000 Stained During Messiest Day In U.S. History
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Experts confirm the British Empire will be reduced to 8 square acres around Buckingham Palace by ...
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Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired
Date:  9/30/2014
Title:  Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Explaining that her statements indicated a failure to understand and implement the district's goal of...
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