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Report: 14% Of Americans Now Intolerant To Word Gluten
Date:  Friday, April 18, 2014
Title:  Report: 14% Of Americans Now Intolerant To Word Gluten
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Everyone in a bustling Chinese parade is attempting to elude pursuers, newly discovered cave paintings suggest early man was battling...
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George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him
Date:  Thursday, April 17, 2014
Title:  George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA President Bush has a new hobby -- painting! -- and he's showing off some new watercolors of the undead Iraqi boy who lives in his nightmares...
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The Onions Tips For Getting A Good Nights Sleep
Date:  Thursday, April 17, 2014
Title:  The Onions Tips For Getting A Good Nights Sleep
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Being sleep deprived can tremendously impact your lifestyle on a day-to-day basis. Here are The Onion's tips for getting a good night's...
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SPONSORED: Barbed Wire Industry Protests Negative Portrayal In Evil Within Video Game
Date:  Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Title:  SPONSORED: Barbed Wire Industry Protests Negative Portrayal In Evil Within Video Game
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Representatives from barbed wire advocacy groups are up in arms over the fencing material's portrayal...
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Doctor Recalls Average-Looking Sibling Who Inspired Him To Go Into Cosmetic Surgery
Date:  Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Title:  Doctor Recalls Average-Looking Sibling Who Inspired Him To Go Into Cosmetic Surgery
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitte...
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Worlds Best Contact Jugglers Converge At Coachella (Brought To You By AT&T)
Date:  Saturday, April 12, 2014
Title:  Worlds Best Contact Jugglers Converge At Coachella (Brought To You By AT&T)
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The festival kicked off this weekend with enthusiastic performances from legendary contact jugglers l...
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Couple Keeps It Interesting By Bickering In Different Positions, Rooms
Date:  Wednesday, April 09, 2014
Title:  Couple Keeps It Interesting By Bickering In Different Positions, Rooms
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Saying that spontaneity is key to spicing up a marriage, local couple Dale and Barbara Patterson told...
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Jock Scientists Identify Gay Gene In Fellow Researcher Carl
Date:  Tuesday, April 08, 2014
Title:  Jock Scientists Identify Gay Gene In Fellow Researcher Carl
Description:  It's in his butt, say researchers. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow Th...
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Landmark Supreme Court Decision Lets Americans Cram Cash Directly Into Politicians Mouths
Date:  Friday, April 04, 2014
Title:  Landmark Supreme Court Decision Lets Americans Cram Cash Directly Into Politicians Mouths
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The U.S. currency finally achieves universal suffrage, Forbes releases the 2014 list of the most punc...
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The Onions Tips For Nailing A Job Interview
Date:  Thursday, April 03, 2014
Title:  The Onions Tips For Nailing A Job Interview
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Interviewing for a new job can often be a stressful, intimidating experience. Here are The Onion's ti...
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Study Finds Earth Located In Lamest Part Of Universe
Date:  Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Title:  Study Finds Earth Located In Lamest Part Of Universe
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Citing factors ranging from the dumb, ugly asteroid belt separating the terrestrial planets from the ...
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Maximize Your Brainpower By Firing Every Neuron At Once
Date:  Monday, March 31, 2014
Title:  Maximize Your Brainpower By Firing Every Neuron At Once
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA What could you do with more brainpower? Inventor and neurologist Gene Curlew introduces a revolutiona...
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Your Insides Are Like A Paper Bag Of Smashed Tomatoes - Dr. Good - Ep. 1
Date:  Monday, March 31, 2014
Title:  Your Insides Are Like A Paper Bag Of Smashed Tomatoes - Dr. Good - Ep. 1
Description:  For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Join America's favorite doctors as they replicate the indeterminate mash that is your internal organs w...
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Michelle Obama Introduces Exercise Program To Combat Obesity In Professional Baseball Players
Date:  Monday, March 31, 2014
Title:  Michelle Obama Introduces Exercise Program To Combat Obesity In Professional Baseball Players
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The First Lady launched the Take The Field initiative this week, encouraging Major League baseball ...
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Devastated Family Struggling To Cope After Losing Everything On DVR
Date:  Friday, March 28, 2014
Title:  Devastated Family Struggling To Cope After Losing Everything On DVR
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Reeling in the wake of sudden, unthinkable tragedy, members of the Talbott family were reportedly lef...
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The Onion Reviews Noah
Date:  Thursday, March 27, 2014
Title:  The Onion Reviews Noah
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'Noah' in this week's Film Standard. Like The Oni...
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Putin Not Ruling Out Military Response To Continued International Diplomacy
Date:  Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Title:  Putin Not Ruling Out Military Response To Continued International Diplomacy
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children a...
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Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking Right Up And Just Asking
Date:  Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Title:  Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking Right Up And Just Asking
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA According to a Gallup report published Tuesday, over 95 percent of the nation's grandfathers began th...
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This App Turns Your Photos into Music If You Want to Do That For Some Reason
Date:  Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Title:  This App Turns Your Photos into Music If You Want to Do That For Some Reason
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Tech CEO Thomas Fisk started with a simple goal: make an app that turns one thing into another thing....
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Teens Migrating From Facebook To Comments Section Of Slow-Motion Deer Video
Date:  Thursday, March 20, 2014
Title:  Teens Migrating From Facebook To Comments Section Of Slow-Motion Deer Video
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Trendwatchers say more and more teens are leaving Facebook and Twitter in favor of the comments secti...
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The Onion Reviews Divergent
Date:  Thursday, March 20, 2014
Title:  The Onion Reviews Divergent
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'Divergent' in this week's Film Standard Like The...
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Study: Slapping Everyone In Grocery Store, Exposing Yourself In Produce Section Still Frowned Upon
Date:  Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Title:  Study: Slapping Everyone In Grocery Store, Exposing Yourself In Produce Section Still Frowned Upon
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA According to a study published Tuesday by sociologists at Princeton University, slapping every single...
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Boston Mayor Throws Out First Punch At St. Patricks Day Parade
Date:  Sunday, March 16, 2014
Title:  Boston Mayor Throws Out First Punch At St. Patricks Day Parade
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA St. Patrick's Day celebrations kicked off in Boston yesterday when Mayor Marty Walsh landed the annua...
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Samsung Releases New Big Fucking TV
Date:  Friday, March 14, 2014
Title:  Samsung Releases New Big Fucking TV
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Obama spends the afternoon in a garage restoring a classic drone, McDonald's is now offering bereavem...
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Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel
Date:  Thursday, March 13, 2014
Title:  Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel
Description:  Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Department of Health and Human Services released their long-awaited report clarifying that nearly...
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